|
On what I have decided
Tuesday, September 21, 20108:00 AM
hello people,
hows life? busy with the craps, exams, and schools? same here! I almost can't breathe. Alhamdulillah, I only have 1 assignment to do (out of 7 assignments) and 2 presentations as well. I'm looking forward for my holiday with Denicu to HK (I know I am little overbearing or pompous in here hahaaha but going to HK was my last year wishlist/2009's resolution n it will come true very soon! Insya Allah) Wish me luck there peeps, since September is a well-known month for typhoon in HK and I don't know yet if its Autumn (Fall) season already or not.
Talking about me (Oh yes, a truly narcissistic over here, lights please).. *drum roll* I'm wearing Hijab right now. It's been 2 weeks I believe, because I started about 2 days before Eid Fitr (yes, I did not mention you on the last post). And if you ask me the reasons why I'm wearing hijab right now, I even don't know too :p it just came naturally. Okay, so on Wednesday, I was about came back to Indonesia and I wanted to surprised my mom (just playing around first, you know me lah) and in the Changi airport, everybody was so kind and nice with me. I was like, "Woaa"-- Landed in Jakarta, my mom,dad,brother, and driver were picked me up, I meant it was something rarely happen because the one who always picked up me was either my brother alone, my driver alone, or my dad alone. And the reaction when they saw me with Hijab? "WOAHAHAHIHIHIWOOAA" like literally. My brother a.k.a my number 1 fan (woooott woot) was approached me first and said, "Are you really sure? DO YOU? if it so Alhamdulillah then!WOAHAHAHHIHIHI" I did not know how to respond but the first thing I said was, "Yes, sure...do you like me like this?" and he was said, "REALLY DO SIS!". In the car, my mom was asking me if I'm really sure with this decision because she knows me better than anyone else besides God, and I dont know why I said I am really sure and I felt 'yes this is the time'.
Okay, so among closest friends and family, I am better known for my crazzy-ness, not serious, laugh out loud, cheerful, and always showing my skins. That was why at first ALL OF THEM were not sure of what I've decided (hahaha even me). "Are you truly really honestly sureee? you cannot behave like before! thats not so you", my aunty said, but the more I got rejection or unstoppable questions from people and peeps, the more I believe for what I have decided-the more I become comfortable with what I wear.
How about my first day of school? everyone was like "WOOA YOUU?!Congratulations!" and I was like "Err yap" hahaha, trully I did not know how to react. To be honest, before wearing hijab I have lots of question that I asked myself and my friends around me. The questions like...Do I really want it? Do I really can handle it? Do my friends will accept me and still hangout with me? How about the acceptance from people?The judgements? How about the career opportunity and love life? Do boys really see me the way I am now? and so on. The doubt and fears were scares me out the most. I don't mind with the clothes because I don't see the burden of it (at least I can layering and mix and match). Until I asked my friends (FYI, most of my friends are not Indonesian and not muslims), I asked some questions like, "Do you still want to hangout with me like before? Do you feel shame being with me?" Surprisedly, they were more supportive than I thought (than my family's response hahaha) they were,"We love you from inside-outside-right-left-any side, and wearing hijab will give you security feelings and you will represent what Islam is,cuz you will recognize as a muslim and thats a good point though, you don't have to worry because we love you as 'you' we never leave you,heck why on earth we will leave you for? otherwise you look prettier with hijab :)" They was said that they will miss my wavy hair and Jill one of my classmates was joking,"I know Im gonna miss your hair but at least I've seen it already!hahaha" I was like....blessed :) thanks God for giving me nice friends!
For these two weeks, I feel more and more and more thankful to God. I am not that religious but I am willing and want to learn. I have flaws and I am not that 'kind or nice' you know, am still a human after all...but this hijab is a self reminder for myself. Sometimes, when there was a time I want to 'gossiping' I was like....err hold on Inez, hehe. I know I cannot be naughty like before, I cannot attend clubs with cekci-cekci clothes anymore, I have to reduce my negative thoughts, I have to behave, etc....well this is like a Jihad, and am hoping for Allah's bless :)
I know that people also said that I have to change my attitude (it includes my personality) but i think one by one,slowly. I might change the way I behave but for my giggles personality, I think...emmm hahaha. You will miss my laugh you know! so not lah...
For fashion, Im trying to be modest and following the Islamic rules but also to stay true to my personal style. I love to wearing maxi dresses, jeans, etc. Im thinking to have a fashion blog, I dont know yet, Im thinking of tumblr and have one for fashion blog or just use lookbook?
Lastly, I'm still learning. I do have mistake,I will make mistakes...but mistakes mean learning. Learning means priceless!
love,
Nenna.
Labels: moi
over & done with
|
