mood : Rainy days - Late Night Alumniearth : bed.bad.bet.
hello,
actually I don't know what to write on, I wrote something last night but then I refused to publish it since it was way too personal ;)
I also have tasks to do such as assignments, final exams, group project (about YSL thingy) but I'm not in the mood to do it. I was browsing to Urbanoutfitters and damn, they have Kimchi & Blue on sale. If the shipping cost to Singapore is same as shipping cost to LA (like before) I would love to buy the vintage dresses also the embroidery - eyelet sweatshirts ;)
Oh wait, I opened Built By Wendy website too, and I was T_T... I keep eyeing on one white crisp shirt, so nice.
Anyway, yeah if u've read my last post...oh well, so hardcore, such an emo girl I was hahah. Just pass it, don't even dare to drop me any question about it since I wrote that gloomy post in a rainy day (see, told ya! rain could soften my mood, hate it... kan jadi malu)
Give me a favor,
If you see me quiet or my eyes look empty, don't worry. Cycle. Halo.
well...
I lost my words.
What should I do if at this moment (at this time) I feel so insecure, feel so tiny? I am too small to defeat the big field. I feel like I'm a piranha but I live in a pond full with alligators, I could beat them only if the alligators die and I eat the pieces left behind. I could be strong as a single fighter piranha when the right time comes and it sounds so wrong for me. You got what I mean?
I walk in between. Not between the lines, but walk right in a line. Some people said, that's good but for me,myself, that's just BS. My soul just pondering, begging to find a stable body, where I could act as same as what I believe, my belief.
Like, I have a trapezium shape of mind but it's caging inside a square shape of mine.
Finish. I'll finish my sentences here, when I'm in doubt, when my feet are not touching the earth, when I wanna throw up because I start to thinking and asking many questions to myself.... a one thing to do to stop it all is Dzikir. Wassalam.
By the way,
Happy Birthday to a lady-like alive Traya W :) Happy 20! enjoy your life and what?! 20 already? oh shut up! :p may your wishes, dreams, hopes, everything that you pray for do come true *sprinkle the glittery dust*
Nenna
Labels: moi